Sunny side of complicated 🌞

The weather outside is criminally so damn good today—sunny, breezy, bright, happy, almost like the universe accidentally synced its playlist with mine. Istg the sky’s energy is matching mine for once: a little wild, a little bubbly, a little what even is going on but I’m vibing anyway.

And maybe that’s why this whole… thing I’m in feels lighter too. You know, that grey zone between friendship and romance, where no one updates their relationship status but hearts are secretly glitching. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me catching feelings in slow motion, while the other person is out here chillin’ like nothing’s happening. It gets in my head—like, am I over-reading every smile? Every little stupid moment that feels bigger to me than it probably should?

But here’s the twist: it still makes me happy. Like ridiculously happy. It’s a distraction sometimes, but a good one. The kind that doesn’t derail you, just adds a soft soundtrack to the chaos. It feels like walking in sunshine with a little secret—you don’t have to define it, you just let it warm you up.

The energy is so bright today I feel like a literal sunflower, turning my face toward whatever little joy I can find, listening to romantic songs I rarely listen to (loving them, nonetheless), singing my heart out, studying with a smile (LOL) and making food with extra love today for my fam <3 . The world feels lighter—like even the air molecules are bouncing around saying, “Chill out, bestie, you’re allowed to feel this giddy.” And I am. I’m a free bird, wings wide, laughing too loud, dancing in my room like a TikTok nobody’s gonna see. If this whatever-ship is a mess, then fine—it’s a pretty, glittery, sunlit mess.

Because sometimes love—or whatever we want to call this—isn’t about grand declarations. Sometimes it’s just the little things: a random text sent at 11 p.m., someone listening to your unhinged rant about exams or even nonsense, or the way you catch yourself smiling at their chat like an idiot. Those are golden moments, tiny sunbeams sneaking through ordinary days.

And honestly, this complicated little half-romance, half-friendship feels like exactly that: imperfect, undefined, but ridiculously alive. Maybe because love’s never really clean-cut—more like quantum states, where you’re both “just friends” and “something more” at the same time until reality collapses the wave function. Or maybe it’s just chemistry—literally. Like two unstable atoms hovering close, wanting to share electrons but still figuring out the energy barrier. The activation energy feels too high, but something about us already feels like a catalyst is waiting to lower it.

And maybe, deep down, I do kinda want it to be something. Highkey, actually. But timing is a cruel little scientist—it runs its experiments when it wants, not when we’re ready. Still, it doesn’t hurt to put the thought out there, right? To whisper it into the universe, just in case. And if we keep pretending forever, we risk losing time, and time’s the one thing we can’t get back. The time at this point of our lives in particular, fleets by so fast... I sometimes really wish, it'll just pause... atleast for a while, and I can live these beautiful little moments to the fullest. Who knows where will I be in an year ? 

So, the sooner, the better; I think, or not. 

Because unlike diffusion, feelings don’t always spread forever. Sometimes they just fade if you don’t acknowledge them—entropy takes over, order collapses, and everything just evens out to... nothing. 

For today, the weather and I are on the same wavelength: unapologetically bright, annoyingly cheerful, a little chaotic, and maybe even romantic if you squint. 🌻 Like photosynthesis, I’m just soaking up light and hoping something beautiful grows out of it. Maybe love is nothing more than biology at work—dopamine spiking at the sound of a laugh, oxytocin surging when a hand brushes yours, neurons firing faster than I can keep up. Maybe it’s physics—two bodies with gravity so strong they keep orbiting each other, no matter how much space is between them. Or maybe it’s just chemistry—unstable bonds forming in the middle of chaos, somehow stable enough to keep me smiling like an idiot.

Whatever it is, I’ll take it. Because honestly? This feels like the one experiment I don’t mind failing, as long as I get to be in the lab, my only wish? ... that I have the right hypothesis.