Happiness
I don’t think there was a single day where it all changed.
no big explosion, no epiphany that made the sky split open.
just this slow, sneaky calm that started crawling back in.
like one morning i woke up and my chest didn’t feel like a battlefield anymore.
the noise was still there, but it wasn’t in me anymore.
and that’s how i knew something had moved.
idk… i think i just got tired of being at war with myself.
tired of trying to fix everything.
so i stopped.
and somehow, that’s when things started fixing themselves.
now i talk easier.
i laugh without checking if it sounds okay.
sometimes i catch my reflection and don’t flinch.
maybe that’s growth—or maybe it’s just peace in disguise.
and i know it sounds dramatic but this feels like finally exhaling after holding my breath for years.
like life didn’t suddenly become perfect, but it stopped hurting so much to live it.
the lyric went ... you’re the cause of my euphoria,”
i used to think they meant someone else.
now i know — sometimes the “you” is me.
the version of me that stayed.
the one that kept going, even when nothing felt worth it
and somewhere between heartbreak and homework and the chaos of everything—
my heart just… recalibrated.
and yeah, maybe i’m still figuring things out, still fumbling through plans and people.
but it’s different now.
lighter. freer.
as if happiness isn’t something i have to chase anymore—
it’s something that walks beside me, quietly, like it’s been waiting for me to notice.
idk, maybe this is what growing up feels like.
maybe this is the shift everyone talks about.
or maybe, it’s just me, finally coming home to myself.
and this time—i’m grateful.
to the people who held me steady when i was all chaos,
to the moments that broke me just enough to rebuild me.
and i have faith it’ll last.
if it won't, i'll make it last.
no evil eyes, please. just peace.
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