Tiny Me, Big Love

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You know when life knocks you with one of those "are you serious right now?" moments—the ones that leave the wind out of your soul? Yeah. That's what happened to me. A huge, messy, heart-breaking thing that left me feeling like a crumpled sock under the bed. Unloved, unseen, lonely, sort of dusty. To say broken beyond repair would still be an understatement.

I won't get into the heavy stuff, maybe some another when I'm ready to open up properly. But, I'll say this isn't a story about the fall. This is a story about rising up. About small healing steps. About laughing through crying. I's still on the first chapter, but i know that I've started. About a Korean boy band of seven sparkly hearts and a message that somehow landed in mine.

Yep. BTS. The boys. The universe's emotional support K-pop group.


Love Yourself: But. How Tho?

After all that went down, I couldn't help but hear this phrase bandied about like confetti at a birthday party: "Love yourself." As if it were that simple. As if I could just apply a face mask, eat a strawberry, and be whole.

Spoiler: I attempted it. It didn't work. (The strawberry tasted sour. I cried.)

Then, one evening, I chanced upon a BTS video—RM's address at the UN. I watched it, eyes puffy, heart barely beating, hoping for nothing. But then he uttered, "No matter who you are, where you're from, your skin color, your gender identity: speak yourself."

And something snapped. Like.a soft-boiled egg kind of snap. Gooey, but promising.


The Healing Playlist

Suddenly I was headfirst immersed in BTS's universe(as if I wasn't already, but nvm). Each song was as if a letter written to me personally. These are how some of them led me by the hand:

"Magic Shop": This one felt like a hot blanket just taken out of the dryer. "You gave me the best of me, so you'll give you the best of you." It made me want to be introduced to myself again.

"Epiphany": Jin belting out "I'm the one I should love" and resembling a literal angel? Ugly crying trigger.

"Answer: Love Myself": Not only a hit, but a dissertation. I found myself humming it in the bathroom while brushing my teeth. While steeping tea. While having existential breakdowns down the aisles of the supermarket. And yet, it somehow comforted me.


Tiny Moments, Big Wins

I began doing ridiculous things that made me feel. myself again. I doodled pictures of BTS with potato-shaped heads. I wrote fanfiction where Yoongi started a bakery and cured people with croissants. I danced—while drying—to "Boy With Luv" until I cramp-kicked myself over.

But each small moment was a stitch mending my heart together.


And suddenly, it wasn't just BTS telling me I was deserving of love—it was all of us.


To Future Me (And Maybe You Too)

I still have days where I feel like that crumpled sock. But now, I speak to myself more gently. I remind myself what Jungkook reminded me of: "Effort makes you. You will regret someday if you don't do your best now." And I'm learning that sometimes "doing your best" is simply being, breathing, and perhaps binging an episode of Run BTS where they freak out over spicy food.

So here’s to the soft healing. The late night cries with BTS as the soundtrack. The silly smiles that sneak up mid-song. The slow, steady work of loving ourselves.

Tiny me, you’re doing just fine, as the song ... Life goes on.

Borahae, from your fellow healing heart.💜

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